Chapters of the Mind.

My stomach clenches
tight as a knot
and for a second I struggle to breathe.
Wet sleeves,
tired eyes,
weary mind.


If you can't attach importance to happiness then I serve no purpose, and therefore am useless.


I have never wanted these two things more
and it's not even for me but I hope to be there.
I'll tell everyone I was right and that it had to happen someday.


You're so beautifully deep,
but so deep that the light can't reach the bottom
and the darkness is dangerous.


I am a cliché, and I believe in all the ideals.
They happen and they are fun.


I am acutely aware.
I am watching.
I am feeling.


It worries me that every moment is so fragile but I intend to keep them.
It feels like I'm walking towards the end of the world and I might just fall off.


I suppose the only thing to do is go with it and see what happens, and capture the sunlight amongst the rain.

Anagram.

Home: is it him; you? 
Such torn sky but I've long got air.


has exactly the same letters as:


I love you so much, I think my heart is going to burst.

I think.

I think I have nothing that interesting to say, and that you'll get bored of me.

I think I'm too angry, and that you'll resent me.

I think I'm too anxious, and you'll grow tired of my worrying.

I think I'm too stupid, and one day you'll realise that I'm inferior to you.

The Cutest Quote.

The Photography Postsecret Project - please take a look.

Two years ago when I lived in America I posted a message on the PostSecret Myspace page, asking for help on a project I wanted to do, which was to illustrate people's secrets with my own photography. Within two weeks I had received over 150 text messages from people all over America. Until now I haven't had time to start this project, but here it is in the making. All images are subject to copyright© Sarah Frances Young


It would be wonderful if people could look at my photography work. These are secrets from recently, and from America.

http://thepostsecretproject.blogspot.com/

Today.

Today I feel confused
overwhelmed
tangled
sullen
trapped
uncomfortable
nervous


and I don't know why.


I just want to lie in bed, all day, and not do anything.
I'm biting my nails and biting my lip.
Wringing my hands. 


My mind is eating itself up.
Jaw clenching.
Flash of anger.
Confusion again.
My thoughts are chasing each other through my head so fast that I can't catch hold of even one of them.


I'm drawing a blank.
Time to force myself up and out.

11/11/10

It's funny because when I got home today I could
smell you on my skin and it made me not want to get in the shower
because that feeling of being wanted,
that ever so brief feeling,
might wash off too.
It's weird because I hardly know you and you probably think nothing of our fumbling around for hours today,
but even kissing you just made me feel happy,
because you wanted to kiss me,
and that's enough for me.
You said you like the contours as you were running your hands up my body and I asked "what's that?" and you said, "The lines that make up a shape," and you said, "Like here, and here," and put your hand on my waist and my shoulder, as we lay facing each other.
You kissed my forehead too and held me for most of the night,
and because we were sober this time it made it
a hundred times better.
I know it's all not a big deal at all, but I haven't felt that warm inside
for a long time.